Fonetica y Fonologia...

My profesor is a certified pelotuda---roughly translated, "moron." Apparently, she'd been wondering ever since the first day of class what was up with my name. It was a strange name, no doubt; that much she knew. But beyond that, she was as unable to match a face to the name as she was to pronounce it, and so she remained stumped.

Yesterday, we started phonetic transcriptions. First of all, she gave us no instruction, no explanation, simply a chart with the phonetic alphabet to use as a guide. Second, there are various phonetic alphabets, and in addition to that, each language is different, because not all languages have the same sounds. Third, phonetic transcriptions are hard! So taking into account that we'd not been taught how to do them, coupled with the fact that I was doing it in a foreign language, I was pretty much lost.

Meanwhile, Professor Mad (I call her "Mad" for short, because her name does in fact have the word "mad" in it) sees a golden opportunity. She calls for volunteers to go to the board and do the first transcription. Clearly, no hands go up. So scanning the attendance sheet for that strange-sounding name, she suddenly barks "Ka-ee-tleen B-een-sake!" Mortified, I shake my head and say I'm not prepared.

Despite the fact that she is none other than a professor of phonetics and phonology (that is, one who studies the various sounds and pronunciations of sounds in language), Profesor Mad somehow is still unable to figure out that I am foreign. So, determined to solve the mystery once and for all, and find out if there isn't something fishy about my non-Hispanic sounding name, she approaches my desk and asks loudly in front of the entire class, "Are you Uruguayan?" I shake my head "no." "I didn't think so," she says, "Your name is odd."